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It’s twelve years now since Douglas Hall was caught by a tabloid sting scoffing at Geordies for paying £50 for replica shirts worth £5. Fans were outraged, and politicians attacked club greed and “exploitation”. Twelve years on, and Newcastle’s new 2010-11 shirt has gone on sale – yours for £50.

What the lack of change shows is that, deep down, fans don’t really mind paying mark-ups for club branding. What has improved in the last decade, though, is the quality.

This year’s new launches are a well-made, pretty good-looking bunch. They are almost all retro-themed, and, disappointingly, there’s nothing properly ugly like Tottenham’s 2009 urine-in-the-snow-themed yellow streaked top. The only one that comes close is Everton’s fluorescent pink away outfit – “a brave design”, says Leon Osman.

In fact, the only consistent negative about this season’s home tops isn’t the designers’ fault. The problem is the new range of sponsors’ logos: uglier and seemingly larger than ever.

Take Liverpool’s shirt (£44.99 from Kitbag.com). It’s a classic Adidas design – a modern version of the 1989-90 title-winning top. It feels classy: neat gold piping and quality, breathable fabric. But that’s not what you see first. What you see first is what Standard Chartered Bank paid £80m to make you see first. And it’s not a logo of beauty.

Likewise Spurs. Replacing the urine stains there’s a retro blue shoulder bar: a good-looking 80s-themed Puma top, spoiled by an ugly “A” motif, promoting a software infrastructure company.

And Manchester United’s top, billed as a tribute to the 1980-81 side, is actually all about Aon. (Although inside United’s shirt there’s a bonus: a chance to test your gag-reflex by finding the word “Believe” printed on the reverse of the club badge – positioned, says the PR blurb, “right next to your heart”.)

Arsenal’s 70s-style top, meanwhile, screams Emirates just as loudly as last season’s shirt – but at least there is a welcome return to white sleeves.

Maybe the best new shirt this year, though, is Blackpool’s – a top which proves they’ve already grasped the ethics of Premier League economics. On offer: a chance for fans to spend £40 on a top advertising their new club sponsor Wonga.com. Wonga’s line of business: selling short-term loans at 2689% APR.

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Today’s hooey knows who rules if you listen to fools

First Gianfranco Zola is sacked, then Ronnie James Dio gets summoned by the unholy sorcerer in the sky – truly, this has been a foul few weeks for giant men with little bodies. Shaun Wright-Phillips may not fit into that category but he does fall into this one: Manchester City wingers who are not thought to have much of a future at Eastlands and may find themselves sitting down soon to discuss a move to Newcastle. It’s quite a lonely category, in fairness.

Still, it’s better to be alone than in bad company, as the Mill’s mum says whenever she catches us consorting with spivs and floozies and journalists and all the other loquacious lowlife who keep us supplied with the guff you read here and doubt on a daily basis. Sir Alex Ferguson wants to improve the calibre of person, or at least of player, that he hangs out with and aims to do so by adding a £38m debit to Manchester United’s balance sheet in order to sign Argentinian trickster Angel di Maria from Benfica. The Daily Mirror tells us that the Scot also intends splurging £35m on Ajax’s Luis Suarez. That may sound like an unfeasibly large spending spree for a club whose debts are so heavy the dear-departed Dio could have appeared on their soundtrack, but a lucrative exodus will help fund the swoops: out will go Ben Foster (Birmingham), Dimitar Berbatov (Bayern Munich, Hamburg, Milan, Sevilla, take your pick), Nani (Marseille, Benfica, Sunderland, Villarreal), Anderson (Benfica) and Darren Fletcher (Sunderland, Aston Villa, Newcastle).

That all sounds quite neat, eh? Ah, but that’s only if everything goes to United’s plan or, to be precise, only if United are not outbid for Di Maria by Manchester City, who will turn their attention to the Argentinian if they fail to nab Franck Ribery.

Liverpool are confident that City see no further use for Stephen Ireland but are growing increasingly concerned that Arsenal might, especially if Cesc Fabregas goes back to Barcelona. Arsene Wenger also plans to prise Jack Rodwell from Everton and Scott Parker from West Ham – and the latest goalkeeper to be linked with a move to the

Emirates is Mark Schwarzer. Every time you hear Gareth Southgate sounding reasonable from ITV’s gantry, balance that by remembering he is the man who let Schwarzer leave Middlesbrough for free.

Fulham are favourites to sign Carlton Cole from West Ham, who will replace him with Everton striker Yakubu. Meanwhile at Stoke, Tony Pulis will offload James Beattie on Coventry City and Dave Kitson on Wolves, then celebrate by recruiting England’s Emile Heskey.

Manchester CityManchester UnitedArsenalFulhamLiverpoolStoke CityWolverhampton WanderersWest Ham UnitedPaul Doyleguardian.co.uk

The old faithfuls took Chelsea a step nearer to the title at Anfield but the club’s future is full of youthful promise

Amid the strangest atmosphere Anfield has known for many years, Chelsea took a tentative step into the future today. As the match ended with the London club on the brink of a third title in the Abramovich era, finally it became possible for the club to look beyond the achievements and aura of José Mourinho.

Most of the players in the line-up were part of Mourinho’s side, and some of them go back as far as Claudio Ranieri’s tenure, but what happens next at Stamford Bridge appears likely to become firmly identified with Carlo Ancelotti. During the summer, certain changes and additions to the squad may cement that association.

Joe Cole, unable to agree a new deal, looks likely to depart, along with Juliano Belletti and possibly Deco. Gossip suggests that if Mourinho takes over at Real Madrid in the summer, he will come calling for Frank Lampard and perhaps Ricardo Carvalho. But the presence of Frank Arnesen, the club’s somewhat shadowy director of football, in the directors’ box provided a reminder that finally Chelsea are ready to see some tangible reward from their expensive academy programme.

At the bottom of their lengthy first‑team squad list are the unfamiliar names of 10 young players, including the Italian forward Fabio Borini, the Dutch defender Jeffrey Bruma, the French midfielder Gael Kakuta and the extremely gifted 17-year-old Joshua McEachran, an English playmaker, who are considered ready for gradual assimiliation into the senior line-up. Their presence will reduce the average age of a group currently heavily weighted towards players in their late 20s and early 30s – although the club’s medical and physiotherapy team have successfully prolonged the youth of so many of them.

If Ancelotti is clever, he will not find himself having to explain to his employer that next season is a necessary period of transition. From what we have seen, Abramovich is not much interested in such a phenomenon. He wants results. He is likely to fund at least one major purchase in the close season, possibly Sergio Agüero, Atlético Madrid’s Argentinian striker, but he would like the team to reflect his investment in Arnesen’s project. This will be a new challenge for Ancelotti, whose successful seven-year spell with Milan was marked by a strong preference for extending the careers of