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Posts Tagged ‘bayern munich’

Today’s jabber is going to have a steak

Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey-ey, goodbye. Arsenal fans had their own catchy ditty for Samir Nasri last season, but now it seems the wantaway Frenchman really does intend to leave this summer, maybe they should adopt the Mill’s suggestion. Nasri’s off to Manchester United for £10m or £20m depending on which paper you believe. Apparently Carl Jenkinson wasn’t quite the big name Nasri had in mind.

Poor old Carl Jenkinson. “But I got you Carl Jenkinson,” the Mill imagines a teary-eyed Arsène Wenger screaming at Nasri. “Carl Jenkinson! What more can I do for you? Fine! Go ahead and leave! We don’t need you anyway. It’s just me and Carl from now on. What? What’s that Cesc? OH SCREW THIS!!!!!”. Johan Djourou reckons Arsenal can do without Nasri and Cesc Fábregas though. Yeah, and the Mill can get by just fine without its looks.

Arsenal will console themselves by signing Southampton’s Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain for £12m, Lille’s Gervinho for £10m and Bolton’s Gary Cahill for £17m. Karim Benzema’s available, you know. Wenger’s mood probably won’t improve once he hears that Liverpool have made a £5m offer for bumbling left-back Gaël Clichy, who’s quick and, er … well he’s quick, OK? Kenny Dalglish has also decided he wants Arsenal’s French defender instead of Newcastle’s José Enrique, although he’s going to have to keep Italian ornament, Alberto Aquilani, after Juventus opted not to sign the flint-boned midfielder. Still, anything that keeps Christian Poulsen away from the first team can only be a good thing. Meanwhile new signing Jordan Henderson thinks he has much to learn from Steven Gerrard. Well those Hollywood balls won’t hit themselves.

One player Liverpool won’t be getting is Ashley Young. With United basing their entire transfer strategy on signing whoever Liverpool show a fleeting interest in – which probably wouldn’t have been so clever during the Gérard Houllier or Rafa Benítez era – it means they’ll be signing the Aston Villa winger for £20m. According to the Mirror, Young will sign a five-year deal worth £130,000-a-week, although getting Young doesn’t actually solve that great gaping hole in the centre of United’s midfield. Just sign as many fleet-footed tricksters as you want, Sir Alex, and no one will notice. It’s always worked for Arsenal. Meanwhile Tomasz Kuszczak has told Ferguson to pick him or he’ll leave United. As far as ultimatums go, it’s up there with the BBC threatening to destroy every episode of My Family.

Young’s exit will mean Roberto Martínez will have a tricky job on his hands if he does opt to leave Wigan Athletic for Villa. The Spaniard had better get scouring in the Concacaf market sharpish. It’s still not clear whether Martínez will join Villa, but Randy Lerner is ready to double his wages and Dave Whelan won’t stand in his way, which is nice of him. So Villa’s big push for eighth place is on. Martínez won’t be the only one out the Wigan door either, with Everton sniffing around Charles Insomnia, who’s valued at £9m.

Jérôme Boateng says he wants to leave Manchester City for Bayern Munich. Jérôme Boateng plays for Manchester City? Martin Jol wants to make chicken-dancing Kevin Nolan his first signing for Fulham. Newcastle will replace him with Lille’s £4.3m-rated midfielder Yohan Cabaye, who runs a taxi company on the side. Sunderland’s bid for Peter Crouch from Tottenham has hit a stumbling block after that crafty Harry Redknapp demanded Asamoah Gyan in return.

The Mirror says Venky’s have given Blackburn’s ‘manager’ Steve Kean £26m to spend. Look, just play along, OK? Let them have their fun. With this ‘money’, Kean hopes to sign Roger Johnson, Scott Dann, James Collins, Sebastian Larsson, Jermaine Jones and Roque Santa Cruz. Real Madrid are planning a £3.5m bid for QPR’s Alejandro Faurlín, who’ll be playing for Getafe by January.

Ryan Giggs is on the front pages again. This country wants to grow up.

Manchester CityManchester UnitedArsenalSunderlandLilleBlackburn RoversAston VillaEvertonReal MadridFulhamNewcastle UnitedLiverpoolTottenham HotspurBayern MunichJacob Steinbergguardian.co.uk

Today’s Tell-all is chewing on a dummy and may yet spit it out

Count yourself lucky readers, for the Mill came pretty close this morning to keeping schtum over who was going where, when and for how much. After all, what is the point of carrying on when merely questioning the “fairness” of those that officiate transfer gossip can lead to an FA charge of improper conduct. The Mill? Improper conduct? The blazers are having a laugh aren’t they?

Anyway, this Tell-all is not petty enough to blank you, it’s wider audience. So here, in no particular order, is the best of today’s tittle-tattle:

Bayern Munich are interested in signing Ashley Young from Aston Villa. The Bundesliga giants sent a scout to watch the winger play at Bolton at the weekend and could make a £12m bid for him this summer.

Tottenham, meanwhile, went Argentina’s latest superstar, Juan Jose Murguia. The 17-year-old River Plate midfielder is apparently the next Lionel Messi (cue a roll of the eyes).

Were Murguia to move to White Hart Lane, then he could well end up replacing Gareth Bale, who apparently is wanted by Chelsea next season. The Welshman looks set to be at the centre of a £40m bidding war with the current Premier League champions ready to slug it out with the likes of Internazionale, Barcelona and Manchester United for the signature of the 21-year-old, who returned from six weeks out with a back injury during Spurs’s 3-3 draw with Wolves.

On the back of their impressive 3-1 win over United at Anfield, Liverpool are reading to make a £6m bid the winger Jeffren, from Barcelona. Kenny Dalglish’s team could also be strengthened next season by Gago, from that other Spanish behemoth, Real Madrid. The Argentina midfielder would, though, cost as much as £10m.

Meanwhile, Arsenal are monitoring Udinese’s highly-rated midfielder Kwadwo Asamoah and could move for the Ghana international should Cesc Fábregas finally transfer to Camp Nou in the summer.

In the wacky world of managers, Steve Kean has one more match to save his job at Blackburn. Big Sam’s replacement started well, but having taken just one point from a possible 15 is now under pressure from the club’s chicken-loving owners. Should he be sacked, then Martin Jol or Claudio Ranieri are among the likely candidates to come in next.

That’s it then. The Mill’s now going to go sit in its lair and, with nothing but anger for company, sink a bottle of expensive red. Improper conduct? I mean, who do they think they’re dealing with, fat Alan Wiley?

Aston VillaTottenham HotspurChelseaLiverpoolArsenalBlackburn RoversBayern MunichSachin Nakraniguardian.co.uk

Today’s Mill can’t understand why you would turn the heat up if you are already on fire

Tottenham Hotspur might have breezed through their Champions League group scoring an average of 649 goals per game, but after a scan of the nation’s news outlets this morning, the Mill can’t help but feel that one or two people’s confidence might be getting out of hand. After all, in the middle of the Telegraph’s football site this morning was a link reading: “[Peter] Crouch: we’re not afraid of anyone in Europe”.

Not afraid of anyone? What about Chris Ryan, Bear Grylls or Supernanny? That’s without even leaving the UK. According to Wikipedia, in Spain they have a “shapeless, sometimes hairy” bogeyman called Ogro who hides in closets and will eat your offspring just for misbehaving at bed time.

But if it sounds like Crouchie has lost the run of himself then far more troubling news awaits for Tottenham supporters in the Daily Express. Apparently Harry Redknapp has become so convinced of his own managerial powers that he now believes he can turn Glen Johnson into a world-class full-back. Of course, if Spurs get lucky one of Juventus or Bayern Munich might get to the Liverpool right-back first.

Over at Anfield, Roy Hodgson will get over Johnson’s departure by doing a celebratory jig and heading out to find a defender who, y’know, defends every once in a while. We’ll have no childishness about stories he’s out chasing (Rennes defender Rod) Fanni. Best of all, Liverpool even reckon they’ll have enough left over to sign Ashley Young from Aston Villa.

Not that Crouch would be around, in any case, to watch that particular disaster play out. Roman Pavlyuchenko’s agent has been discussing his client’s future at the club with Tottenham’s top brass, you see, and claims that “[Robbie] Keane will most likely be sold and maybe Crouch“. Aston Villa’s Ged Houllier is already waiting outside White Hart Lane with £6m and a small, grubby photo to identify the Irishman by.

That may come as some relief to Keane, since the only other team being linked with him this morning is Leicester City. Sven-Goran Eriksson has already been snubbed by David Beckham, and apparently has been told that the club’s owners “want a big signing”. Reports that he has also bid for Roque Santa Cruz suggest some clarification is required over what sort of “big” they are after.

It doesn’t really matter, of course, since Sven will probably get bored and start looking for a new job before too long, and his ears have no doubt pricked up at news that two positions may soon be coming vacant. The Sun reckons Carlo Ancelotti’s days at Chelsea may be numbered, while Italy’s Gazzetta dello Sport’s front page declares this morning that “The world is not enough for [Rafael] Benítez”. By which they mean he’ll probably get the boot even if Inter win the World Club Cup.

In other news, Stoke City want to keep Jermaine Pennant at the end of his loan spell, but Real Zaragoza want £6m to let that happen. Wolverhampton Wanderers are contemplating an offer for the Newcastle United defender Steven Taylor in January, and Gary Speed is being tipped to be the next Wales manager. And that’s your lot.

Tottenham HotspurLiverpoolRennesAston VillaJuventusBayern MunichLeicester CityChelseaInternazionaleRafael BenítezStoke CityWalesZaragozaPaolo Bandiniguardian.co.uk